If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
