I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
