Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
