Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
