im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
