we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
