my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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