I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
