I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
