i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
