you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
