Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
