I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
