How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
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