I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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