how can u be prego again
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize