no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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