Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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