If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
