How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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