Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
