Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
So much rum. So many feels.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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