Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
