her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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