I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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