yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
