i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
