How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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