What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
