Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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