So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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