apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
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If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
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I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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