that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
