So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
