You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
