The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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