There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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