I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
