So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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