I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
