Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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