I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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