NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
