I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
