I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
