You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
its not stalking. its research.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
