I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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