Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I love you. Go after that dick
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
