never play flip cup with pint glasses
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
