if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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