Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
