2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
