I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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