I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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