Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
it's not cheating when I paid for it
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
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we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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