There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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