so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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