I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
