I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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