I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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