They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
