she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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