its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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