My brain says no but my pants say off.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
