absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
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